Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that closer to home, we have the brothers in law, who are taken as family members. As a result, it is a free for all. It is as if a woman marries all her brothers in law. There is just no shame, no modesty and no purdah.
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has asserted that the brother in law is perhaps the most dangerous individual to the security and safety of a marriage. This is why Sayyiduna Rasoolullah صلى الله عليه وسلم said; *”The brother in law is death.”* (Sahih Bukhāri)
Due to the brother in law having the freedom to come in and out of the house, he is trusted. We spend so much of money on different luxuries. Should we not invest our wealth towards such facilities where the eating between males and females is separate? Why is it that we have to sit together talking, laughing and joking? Can we not take the necessary precautions and preserve the institution of modesty in our lives? Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has further stressed; *”The doors of mischief can remain shut and locked, and with the Will of Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله, no threats will hover over our marriages.”*
We have the situation nowadays where if any family member is trying to follow the Shariah, there are objections even by the supposedly Deeni conscious elders of the family; to this extent that the family member is ridiculed and treated as an outcast.
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله in his correspondence with various people (especially the ladies) has emphasised that brothers in law and first cousins are definitely the most dangerous for one’s Īmān. However, Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has advised that in a house where family members walk in and out freely; and it becomes difficult to cover the face, one should lower the gaze and ladies should draw their scarves as low as possible and avoid confrontational situations. One should talk out of necessity; there must be no desire in the heart to continue talking (without necessity) or engaging in jokes and laughter.
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)